I Quit My Job Today

I quit my job today.

Today’s not the day I drafted up a letter, asked to meet with my boss, and handed in my resignation. I did that weeks ago. No, today’s the day I’m done.

My last day at my day job.

As I write this way too early in the morning, since it’s becoming apparent that on the days of my big life events I can’t seem to stay asleep, I’m filled with a mix of emotions. I have a knot in my stomach, but kind of in a good way, you know? My body is thrumming, buzzing, my nervous system keyed up for what I know is coming today. And yes, there will probably be tears.

I’m nervous, excited, anxious, happy, nostalgic, ready, TERRIFIED.

What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I can’t make the entrepreneur life work? What if I’m not cut out for this?

But what if I am?

Way back in July 2014, I was hired as the Office Manager at a not-so-small nonprofit in Flint, Michigan. I had an accounting degree and some experience, but I had no clue what I was doing. I had to do payroll on my own for the first time. I had to manage all the books for a few companies and somehow make it work. And my predecessor was already at her new job, so she could only come back for training a handful of times.

I felt like I was thrown into the deep end of the pool.

But I managed. I learned. I grew. I thrived.

Then things got crazy. And in the summer of 2016, due to the way another coworker was treating me (I only found that out after the fact), I was about to leave. I was ready to find another job and put this one behind me.

Then it all changed.

The company I worked for brought in a management company. With the agreement, they also brought in an Executive Director, my new boss. And since the management company would now be doing most of my job off-site, I was a little worried about quickly becoming obsolete. But I was soon assured by the board that they would find a place for me.

And they did. I was fortunate that they hired an amazing Executive Director. The coworker who was creating an issue for me now no longer had the leverage to make my work life difficult, and they soon left. I was given the opportunity to move into a marketing position with only the little experience and training I’d gained on my own, at home.

And I grew again. I thrived.

Because of that job, I became who I am. Because of that Executive Director and her faith in me, I stepped into my calling. She always encouraged me to pursue my dreams, knowing the whole time that those dreams would eventually mean me leaving the company.

In 2017, I talked about leaving. My husband and I were over the harsh Michigan winters and had set our sights on Florida.

But the timing was all wrong.

I applied to probably 200 jobs and didn’t have a single call back for any of them. (Except, you know, those headhunter ones. And I only had one of those.) Though I discussed my intentions with my boss, and she was fully supportive, I knew it wasn’t time yet. That door was closed.

So I stayed. I gained more experience. I learned. I grew some more.

In early 2018, we had a project at work: creating vision boards for our lives. I threw myself into the project, and it was eye-opening. Life-changing, really, though I didn’t realize it at the time. And I don’t say that lightly.

My vision board really clarified things for me. It was apparent that I wanted to write, that I needed to write. That I wanted to create courses to help other authors succeed. (I didn’t even have an idea about the editing thing yet!)

So that year, I FINALLY released my first book.

The book I’d been sitting on for nearly ten years, The Secret of the Codex, released that August. It was an amazing time, and it only solidified things in my mind. I was supposed to be doing this. I was made for this.

I finished book two. I started book three. I started two other books, too. I worked on my social media presence. I redesigned my website (with the help of my husband). I started editing books and other things for people and discovered I loved it. I wrote a mini ebook. I launched more author services. I started a Patreon page. I launched a YouTube channel. I grew my following. I relaunched my debut novel with a new cover. I started teasing my first course, Instagram for Authors. I got sick, really sick, and didn’t think I’d be able to do any of it.

But along the way, I kept going. I kept learning.

I learned to trust the process. I learned to trust God. I learned to trust myself.

I’m still learning. I certainly don’t have it figured out, but the vision board, my boss’ support, my illness — they’ve all led me here.

And so, despite being scared of all the things I mentioned before, I quit.

I knew it’s what I had to do. I knew in order to live my life to its fullest, I had to go all in. Despite the near-constant wondering, worrying, and knot in my stomach (mostly good), I quit my day job so I wouldn’t quit my daydream (click to tweet).

I heard a lyric the other day that really spoke to me. It’s from Steven Curtis Chapman, one of the most talented artists on the market today (and very under appreciated!). And the funny thing is, I heard the lyrics wrong. I thought it said one thing, which smacked me in the face, but when I looked up the lyrics, it was a little different.

So I thought I’d share those lyrics here, with my version. I’ll tell you why in a minute.

Trust God and take another step…

If there's an ocean in front of you
You know what you've gotta do
Take another step…
Maybe He'll turn the water into land
Or (sic) maybe He'll take your hand and say
Let's sink or (sic) walk on the waves
Will you trust Me either way?

Here’s the actual lyric, because it’s still so good:

Maybe He'll turn the water into land/And maybe He'll take your hand and say/Let's take a walk on the waves/Will you trust Me either way

I love the way I heard it, “let’s sink or walk on the waves,” because God isn’t asking me to only trust Him if things are good. He’s asking me to trust Him if things get worse, too.

I don’t know what the future holds. I may make a mess of the whole thing, and it may not ultimately work out.

I may sink.

But I’ve learned that God has me either way. I can trust Him. If I sink, He’ll be there to grab my hand, lift me out, and take me to the next ocean I have to cross. If I walk on the waves, I’ll know He blessed me so I can help others become who they are meant to be. Or maybe He’ll decide to make an island in the middle of the ocean, whatever that looks like.

I’ve said that the theme of The Secret of the Codex was learning to trust. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to publish, because I had to learn that theme myself before I could release it to the world.

I just had to share my journey with you, and hopefully it encourages you to step out in faith, in trust.

Life’s too short not to quit.

Quit the things that don’t serve you and step into who you were created to be. Quit the negative self-talk, the limiting beliefs, the victim mentality, the scarcity mindset. Quit trying to be someone else and just be yourself. Your truest self, the one you were created to be.

What will you quit today? Let me know in the comments!